What Do I Have Under Control?
A bit of reflecting and catch up
Written on July 31, 2025
Whenever I think I have life under control, something reminds me that I do indeed not have life under control. Right now that looks like the boat lift/shore station breaking that we dock my Dad’s ski boat on. What that also looks like is now scrambling to get pricing for a new manual cantilever style boat lift from hundreds of miles away from where the boat is (my sister is also doing a lot of legwork in my hometown to figure this out, and keep the boat dry). Did I mention I’m tired of feeling financially stressed lately?
Another thing that is reminding me constantly that I do not have control is the weather. We’re in another bout of air quality warnings which means even though it’s in the mid 70’s temp wise in eastern Wisconsin, we’re still staying inside with windows closed or else my asthma will flare up horribly. As much as I love these temperatures, especially for late July, I don’t like the headaches and the flare up of my allergies that comes with these air quality alerts from the wildfires. In May when we went up north to launch the ski boat there were air quality warnings and I didn’t think much about it and wasn’t really taking my allergy medicine yet. That was a horrible idea; I wound up with a bad case of vertigo that lasted a week due to my inner ears not draining right from the inflammation. I’ve learned my lesson.
In an attempt to control things I’ve been trying to be more mindful about when I eat and listening to my body. It’s been a very hard thing for me to do because emotional eating something I’ve done for self soothing for years. I also had my food controlled a lot by my maternal Grandma when I’d be at her house after school and even when I briefly lived with my maternal grandparents in high school. Even as I’m 34 I still struggle with food sometimes and worthiness around eating. Last weekend we went to a local bbq place along the riverfront and I got a salad with pulled pork in it. I knew i should eat a light meal because my body doesn’t respond the best to the humidity and we had just played 8 holes of mini golf with the kids (it was promptly ended when my youngest wound up for a full swing to get over a water hazard and whacked the youngest… ooops). While the salad was delicious and what I wanted and craved in the moment, it made me also wonder about the uptick in diet culture. Feeling a bit like my body doesn’t belong in society again, which i know is far from the truth.
In the theme of that though, summer is my SAD season. My body has been getting better tolerating heat again after 2 pregnancies with preeclampsia (unsure if being heat intolerant is related to that but the first few postpartum summers it was definitely related to being on a SSRI) which is honestly making summers more enjoyable for me again. But maybe planning things and having things to look forward to are a good enough reason to make summer not my SAD season. In a few weeks I’ll be blessed with my high school best friend’s presence for more than a few short hours and it’s been too long since that happened. I’m honestly very excited for that.
Honestly though, since removing social media from my phone the last week (only kept facebook & messenger because of a D&D group chat and my husbands extreme need to send me all the reels) things have felt a whole lot more manageable. My body finally feels calm (despite actually writing this on a sick day from work because I flared my IBS by eating too many raw veggies - I know, I know, I should know better than that by now since I’ve been living with IBS for 25 years). I’m slowly winding down my screen time and taking more time to be intentional with the time I spend on my phone and other screens. Funny how that can really be impactful in such a short time.
An end of the month wrap up
I’ve read more than I have since January this month… which was only a whopping 9 books, but I will take it. I’ve been intentional this year with slowing down reading. In 2024 I read 166 books and so far this year I’m only at 55 books. Truly, a much needed slow down in reading. I can’t “all or nothing” all my hobbies.
I’ve really enjoyed taking step back with reading to be able to really process the books I read. This is what I’ve enjoyed most about reading. Another win of the year is finally getting my husband to get his own library card. I’ll take that triumphant victory.
Another thing that I’ve enjoyed this month is watching people explore amtrack routes. Why? Well, I’m not the most fond of airports. It’s not the act of flying, no. It’s literally everything to get to your gate and the stress of it. Something about train travel seems intentionally less stressful (unless you’re on a tight schedule). Some videos I’ve really enjoyed will be shared below.
Overall, this month has been truly hectic but in the best way. Cottage time, D&D time with friends, and just trying to enjoy summer as much as we can before the days get shorter again in the northern hemisphere. Any good memories or trips from this summer? A great summer read you need to share? Share in the comments!
